Trauma
Trauma occurs when we witness or experience a life threatening event, which we are helpless to prevent. This may be a serious accident, a catastrophic incident such as a flood or fire, violent conflict during war or an attack by a stranger. Sadly, physical, psychological, or sexual abuse is often committed by people we know and trust, including community members, collegues, friends and partners or family members. As well as serious harm to our body these experiences damage our sense of safety and trust in people and the world. We can feel that we have lost control over our destiny, our body and even our mind. After the event we often feel numb and disconnected from the world and others.
One of the most important functions of the conscious mind is to understand the world and predict what is likely to happen so we can keep ourselves and others safe. Traumatic events are situations where we were unable to maintain safety. Our mind goes over and over the event, trying to understand what happened so future events can be predicted, prevented, or solved. This often results in distressing intrusive memories and flashbacks where we suddenly re-live the event in a vivid memory where we see, hear, smell, or feel what happened. Nightmares and insomnia are common. We often feel highly anxious and on 'full alert'. Guilt or shame are common, and we often become depressed. During the process of recovery, the mind integrates the trauma into our understanding of the world. We work out how to reduce the risk of similar events. With time and support we can re-gain our sense of safety and efficacy. Talking with someone who understands trauma and the process of integration is often very helpful and promotes faster recovery. If you, or someone you care about is suffering the effects of trauma, please reach out for help. Understanding, assistance, and kindness can make the world of difference.
A reflection on the experience of trauma:
'There is a wordless knowing that this is the end. Often there is a calm acceptance that we will die. Sometimes there are thoughts such as “this is how it ends” or ‘I hope my children are ok”. In moments of extreme danger, the processes of our mind speed up and we watch wide-eyed as the event unfolds in slow motion. A stunned witness to our own demise. Even when severe injuries are inflicted there is often no pain and no emotion. Pain and fear are not useful when there is no help and no escape.
When we are beaten or raped there is the wordless horror that the integrity and sanctity of our body or mind is being stolen by another and shattered by their hatred or perverted desire. A frozen moment of grief that we will never be safe or whole.
If we survive, the fear, shame and pain are branded into our being. With time we may heal around the horror. But we never forget. Like a symbiont it lives within us.
If we are fortunate enough to love or be loved, this powerful emotion will be a candle in the darkness of trauma. With time we may feel its warmth and strengthen. Then, if we choose, we can stare into the black eyes of hatred, walk back into the abyss, and light the candle for another.'
With time we can heal and integrate trauma. Initially we will be frightened, unable to trust or sleep. With each moment of joy or kindness we relax a little. We start to notice birdsong and children’s laughter. We walk more slowly and stop to smell the fragrance of flowers. One day as we are watching a butterfly or an insect, we realise we are quietly humming. We are ok. The scars are strong, and we are free to be who we choose.
Blue knot foundation
National Centre for PTSD
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
