Communication exercise – problem

 

 

 

• Practice this exercise 3 times a week for 10 minutes.

 

 

 

1. 1. Decide who is going to talk and who will listen.

 

 

1. 2. The speaker talks briefly for 2 minutes or less about something which is a problem or worry for them but is not an area of conflict between you.

 

 

1. 3. The listener summarizes what has been said and their understanding of how the speaker feels. The listener intentionally takes a supportive and understanding attitude.

 

1. 4. The speaker says if the listener’s understanding is correct and explains more if necessary. Once the listener understands and has given support to the speaker, thank the listener for their understanding and support.  (Help each other with these steps – be patient and cooperative, it is often harder than it seems).

 

 

1. 5. Swap roles – the new speaker talks about something that is worrying them or is a problem for them.

 

 

1. 6. The new listener summarizes what the speaker said and how they feel in the same way as previously.

 

 

 

1. 7. If either person becomes upset slow down, both be quiet for a moment then the speaker talks about how they feel a bit more and the listener summarizes their understanding of how the speaker feels and what is happening. They are deliberately supportive and understanding of the speaker.  The listener may also talk about how they feel if this is in a way that is encouraging and helpful to the speaker.

 

1. 8. Try to emphasize positive feelings, positive things that have or are happening and the concern and care you have for each other. Be kind, honest, realistic, and optimistic.